Woo, hoo! What a blast on The Path this summer. Having learned over the years that a harmonious family experience requires nothing more of me than complete surrender of any notion of control that is exactly what I chose for the six-week school holiday. Until now, there has traditionally been a sense of panic as I wonder how on earth I am going to entertain the children, manage the details of everyday life (i.e. paying bills, keeping on top of the laundry, and trying to get something (anything!) nutritious to pass the children's lips to name but a few), continue to run the family business, and find any space for myself to breathe and recharge along the way. I'm not sure how I managed it but it had something to do with letting go…yes, even more.
For me, writing and blogging was one of the scariest things I chose to let go of for the summer. The pressure to keep going, keep going, keep writing, keep producing is a pressure I notice coming from within and without. How am I ever going to "make it" if I don't consistently push myself? Constantly put myself out there, lest people forget me! That makes me smile. So far I have only dared toe-dip when it comes to finding and connecting with my "audience". My children (aged 10 & 13) have more followers than I do! And yet I notice an even broader smile on my face as I sense that it really doesn't matter to me. It is thrilling to allow myself to find my voice and to express it in my own way in my own time. Knowing that as far as any sense of making it is concerned, Divine Timing has it covered. That the moment I release the pressure I impose on myself I have already arrived. What exactly is it that we seek anyway, if not a heavenly feeling in the here and now?
Letting go, however, does tend to bring up our deepest fears around losing control. We fear that if we do let go everything around us will collapse and people, including us, will suffer in some way. And yet from our human vantage (or rather, disadvantage) point we cannot always see what is best for us and those around us, but as we allow that part of ourselves that can see the bigger picture (our Higher Self) to take over for a while we discover we can not only afford to relax and go with the flow but that in doing so miracles occur. Somehow everything effortlessly falling into place. Letting go is all good and well in theory but until we have the courage to put it into practice we cannot feel its magic.
As it was, the children didn't need entertaining. They wanted to be free. Free to lounge around in pyjamas 'til midday. Free to lose themselves in their gadget of choice. Connecting with their world (their audience) in their way. Free to somersault on the trampoline. Free to eat what they want when they want. Free to play out on the park or in the woods. Occasionally we went swimming and on one occasion they asked if we could go for a nature walk together. (I was in shock and awe!) It seems in being present to them and their joy, rather than stressing to tick jobs off the to-do list, they didn't seem to need me very much at all and, they were incredibly content. In fact, I had much more time and space to myself than usual. As a result, it really was a Summer of Love.
Now the holidays are over I feel excited and energised. Thrilled to be back in the writing game! Ready to take few more chances. Fascinated that whereas it usually takes a week or two to catch up with household and business responsibilities following the school holidays somehow, this year, it all seems to be sorted. And so as I re-focus on my passion outside of family life (if the two can ever be truly separate) I notice I'd quite like my Higher Self to take over the running of my life on a more permanent basis…if only I can remember to step out of the way :-)
Wishing you all a wonderful autumn. Enjoy the harvest!
Trained in a depth, buddhist-based psychotherapy, using everyday outer world experiences to develop inner wisdom, one day at a time.