I felt an urge to blog today even though I haven't walked The Path, not physically anyway. And I guess this is my point. Regularly walking in nature is beneficial on so many levels but the truth is every aspect of our lives is a mirror. Nature, to me, is simply my favourite way. Yet each moment, each situation, every encounter reflects back to us what is really going on at our core. Each time we notice this, we also have an opportunity to return to our natural state of being - joy. In these moments there is nothing to be done. Simple, gentle awareness is enough. If we can let go of the reigns for even a moment, change happens effortlessly.
I awoke this morning with a sense of being crushed. I wasn't sure how I was going to fit everything in today. Well, I could fit in everyone else's 'stuff' but I couldn't see how I would have time for my own. I really didn't feel up to the 'school routine' (it can be emotionally exhausting at times). And, the guilt around my lack of motherly enthusiasm made me feel even worse. Ok I said to myself, breathe slowly and deeply and just be with it all. In that moment, I dropped it all. I relaxed. Before getting out of bed I vowed to myself that if nothing else today, I will slow down enough to notice.
Realising I've been a little off track this week with regards to the things that keep me grounded such as, fresh air, walking, and good, clean, vibrant food I made myself the first green juice in quite a while. It tasted so good. Sweet. I remembered how my body tingles as if it is literally coming to life when I eat or drink food such as this. After a while however, I noticed myself drift back into guilt-mode as I gazed into the kitchen. I must wash out the juicer before I forget and...blah, blah, blah. Noticing this I brought my focus back to the children sitting across the table. No, I urged myself quietly, just enjoy being with them a little longer. This moment will be gone soon enough.
Sitting there I noticed (as untimely as it seemed) I really fancied a bath - using the fragrant bath bombs the family had bought me as birthday gift. There was only twenty-five minutes until we were due to leave...but all I needed was ten! The moment with the children having passed, I followed my joy and popped upstairs to run the water. Five minutes later I was happily soaking up a beautifully scented and orange tinted bath experience. My son (aged 12) opened the door a little and offered to walk my daughter (aged 10) to school. I was so touched. Its ok I said. I'll be out in time. No really, he said, I don't mind. My daughter appeared, in agreement. Ok, we'll see then, I said. As it was, I didn't need more than ten minutes to feel revived, and I wanted to do the walk. Outside the rain, however, was torrential. How about I drive you both today? I offered. Only if you want to he shrugged, and smiled. As I drove back home aware of the depth of MUTUAL CONSIDERATION that had taken place I felt as if I was still bathing - in the love between us. What a turn around!
Trained in a depth, buddhist-based psychotherapy, using everyday outer world experiences to develop inner wisdom, one day at a time.