There is a feeling of travelling light as I begin The Path today, despite a persistent urge to overeat. A tendency that surfaces whenever I am trying to launch something new in my life. Instead of launching, I lunch! My old way of sub-consciously anchoring myself whenever I start to move into a more joyful and expansive way of being. Like a balloon afraid to float off, despite that being its natural inclination. In this sense, the heaviness of overeating certainly serves its purpose, keeping me firmly on the ground! In both a physical and emotionally heavy sense, that is, weighed down by my own guilt and shame :-|
Until recently I have always assumed, especially when all is going well for me, that things are bound to take a dip eventually. Maybe even crash! The words It'll all end in tears! ringing in my ears. Basically, what goes up must come down, particularly when it comes to joy. But what if that isn't the absolute truth? What if its a relative truth? Relative to our old, less expanded view of ourselves and the world? What if the importance we place on gravity (a.k.a. seriousness) is an outdated belief system? Not the whole picture. What if being human is really all about being Light? It's certainly what physicists are discovering at a quantum level!
As I continue to walk I notice the urge to take my hands out of my pockets even though it's quite chilly today. And yet when I do, I discover it's not as cold or uncomfortable as I expected. Hmmm, don't make assumptions I remind myself. Try it and see for yourself. I can always pop them back in if it is cold and uncomfortable. Strikes me as a lesson in life! I have a sense that with my hands out of my pockets I am able to feel the warmth on the outside, the comfort (my shoulders are more relaxed now), in fact, I am simply able to feel more. I realise just how sensitive the hands really are. No wonder there is an urge to tuck them away sometimes. Right now my arms feel light. Free to fly, almost.
In truth, having consistently felt an underlying sense of ease and flow over the last couple of months (unusual for me) I wonder if this more permanently lighter state is becoming my new norm? I don't seem to be so afraid of my lightness now (that is, my fear of being judged as wishy-washy, and not to be taken too seriously). I notice I am starting to value my own lightness regardless of what others may think. Perhaps, it is ok to Lift Off! What if, like the balloon, the natural movement of life is to allow ourselves to lift higher and higher? The lesson: to stop weighing ourselves down out of fear? I know when I deny this natural self-expansion in myself I start to physically expand instead.
It seems travelling light is not simply a choice it's what we are! Light...travelling.
Trained in a depth, buddhist-based psychotherapy, using everyday outer world experiences to develop inner wisdom, one day at a time.