Without the need to capture
There is a lot of love on The Path today. Heart-shaped flora everywhere. I have the urge to go really slowly. Take my time. Savour it. I hear the sharp, high-pitched whistle of a tiny bird. Wheep, wheep, wheep! As if to say Oi, I'm over here! There is a sense of connection.
I also notice the urge to focus outward a little more. All this inward focus, as insightful and magical as it is, can feel a little intense. So balance, it seems, is the order of the day. I am also aware of the urge to refrain from obsessing about capturing everything on the path, as well as within, whether that be through writing, photography, or thoughts. It can be exhausting. Sometimes its lovely to just watch and feel it all pass by without the need to capture. I remind myself to just wander, and notice what pops out at me, rather than go looking for it. What a relief!
As I walk I am still with the energy of that little bird. The words Look at me, I may be small but I AM IMPORTANT come to mind. Suddenly I am aware of a rising flushness making its way up to my face. I am embarrassed as it hits me Maybe this is what I am saying about myself! I realise What the bird is saying is simply a reflection of what I am feeling deep inside but am struggling to bring to the surface for fear of feeling and being judged as arrogant. And yet it is true. I do matter. No more nor less than anyone else but the truth is I am important.
Sh*t! Do I really have to share this? I wonder. NO, is the reply. But it feels really important. YES!
(Having learned to trust the voice from within that says very little but speaks in capital letters) I choose to 'get over myself". It feels important to share it because its about you too. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU MATTER. I AM A REFLECTION OF YOU. WE ARE MIRRORS OF EACH OTHER.
As I continue to walk the path there is a sense of an ENDLESS SOURCE of material available out here in nature, which I also equate as an endless source of support. Even though I do not know with my head what this endless source is, my heart does seem to know. And if there's one thing I've learned without question it's to trust my heart.
Further up the hill the yellow heart-shaped leaf (above) pops out at me. As I move in to take a shot I smile to myself as the lower leaf quivers rapidly as if to say ooh, pick me, pick me! I include them both. As I wander on, I sense that in contrast to that little excitable leaf other elements of nature, such as the oak or the pine tree, seem to stand secure in self-confidence. At times I can feel the sheer inner peace of that experience, and yet quite often I am also that quivering, excited little leaf. Both, it seems to me, are what life is all about.
29/9/2013 07:40:44 am
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Trained in a depth, buddhist-based psychotherapy, using everyday outer world experiences to develop inner wisdom, one day at a time.